Unit 14 Decision-making regarding sexual relationships
Key unit competence: Identify potential legal, social and health consequences of sexual decision-making.
Key ideas
- During adolescence young people form friendships and may feel attraction. Good decision-making means thinking about consequences before acting, knowing your own values and limits, and respecting yourself and others.
- Risky sexual behaviour can lead to unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as gonorrhoea, syphilis, chlamydia, hepatitis B and HIV, emotional stress, dropping out of school and, for adults involved with children, legal consequences.
- Barriers to protecting sexual health: lack of correct information, myths ("you cannot get pregnant the first time"; "STIs go away on their own"), peer pressure, alcohol and drugs (weaken judgement), gender inequality (one partner cannot say no), poverty and gifts or money offered in exchange for sex, and shame or silence that stops young people asking for help.
- Abstinence (not having sexual intercourse) is the only method that gives complete protection against both pregnancy and STIs/HIV, and it is strongly recommended for adolescents. For adults, dual protection means preventing pregnancy and STIs at the same time: faithfulness to one tested, uninfected partner, and correct, consistent condom use (condoms are the only contraceptive that also protects against STIs, though not 100%).
- HIV testing and counselling lets people know their status and get early treatment; STIs must be treated by health workers, not with untested remedies.
- Sexual traps are situations that push young people towards unwanted or unsafe sex: pressure from friends or older people, promises of gifts, money or favours, being alone with someone in an isolated place, alcohol and drugs, and false information on social media.
- Refusal skills: say "No" clearly and firmly; give a reason if you wish; walk away; avoid risky places and people; choose friends who respect your values; set goals (education, career) and remember them; talk to a trusted adult (parent, teacher, counsellor, health worker).
- Any adult who offers a child gifts or money for sexual favours, or who touches a child sexually, is committing child sexual abuse, which is a crime in Rwanda. It is never the child's fault. Report it to a trusted adult, the school, the police, the Isange One Stop Centre, or the free child helpline 116.
Common misconceptions
- "You cannot get pregnant the first time you have sex." No: pregnancy can happen the first time.
- "Everyone in my class is already having sex." No: most adolescents are not; this belief is a form of peer pressure.
- "Accepting gifts from an adult in return for a relationship is a fair deal." No: it is exploitation and abuse of a child, and it is against the law.
- "Contraceptive pills also protect against HIV." No: pills prevent pregnancy only; they give no protection against STIs or HIV.
Worked examples
Example 1. Mugisha (14) is laughed at by older students because he refuses to have a sexual relationship. What should he do?
Solution
Keep saying no with confidence; remind himself of his goals and values; stay with friends who respect his choice; tell a teacher or counsellor about the bullying. Abstinence protects him completely from STIs, HIV and causing a pregnancy.
Example 2. A man in Uwimana's neighbourhood promises her money and gifts if she spends time with him. Explain why this is dangerous and what she should do.
Solution
It is a sexual trap: the man is using money to exploit her, which is child abuse and a crime, and it exposes her to HIV, STIs and pregnancy. She should refuse, avoid being alone with him, and tell a trusted adult, the school, the police or call 116; her family can get support from local leaders and social services.
Practice questions
Give four consequences of risky sexual behaviour for a young person.
Show answer
Unplanned pregnancy; STIs including HIV; dropping out of school; emotional stress and stigma; legal consequences when an adult is involved with a child.
Common mistake: Giving only health consequences.
List five barriers that make it hard for young people to protect their sexual health.
Show answer
Lack of correct information and myths; peer pressure; alcohol and drugs; gender inequality; poverty and gifts or money; shame and silence about sex.
Common mistake: Listing barriers without examples.
What is dual protection? Name two ways of achieving it.
Show answer
Preventing both unplanned pregnancy and STIs/HIV at the same time. Abstinence (complete protection); for adults, faithfulness to one tested partner plus correct condom use.
Common mistake: Saying contraceptive pills give dual protection.
Describe four refusal skills a learner can use.
Show answer
Say no clearly and firmly; give a reason; walk away and avoid risky places; stay with friends who share your values; ask a trusted adult for help.
Common mistake: Suggesting the learner should "just go along" to avoid conflict.
Explain three myths about sex and correct each.
Show answer
"You cannot get pregnant the first time": false, you can. "STIs go away by themselves": false, they need treatment. "Pills protect against HIV": false, they only prevent pregnancy.
Common mistake: Repeating the myths without correcting them.
What should a child do if an adult offers gifts in exchange for a relationship?
Show answer
Refuse, avoid being alone with that person, and tell a trusted adult (parent, teacher, counsellor), the police, the Isange One Stop Centre or call 116. It is abuse and never the child's fault.
Common mistake: Keeping it secret out of fear.
How can schools and families help adolescents make responsible decisions?
Show answer
Give accurate, age-appropriate information; open, respectful communication at home; counselling and life-skills clubs; safe ways to report abuse; supporting girls and boys to stay in school.
Common mistake: Saying sex should never be discussed with adolescents.
Explain why alcohol and drugs increase sexual risks.
Show answer
They reduce self-control and judgement, so people may agree to things they would normally refuse, forget protection, or be taken advantage of.
Common mistake: Saying alcohol protects against STIs.
Matching and drag-and-drop
Matching
Match each item in column A with the correct answer in column B. Write the letter next to each number.
Column A Column B 1. Which is a possible social consequence of teenage pregnancy? a. a parent, teacher, counsellor or health worker 2. Which contraceptive also gives some protection against STIs? b. Condom 3. HIV testing and counselling helps people to: c. Dropping out of school 4. A trusted adult a learner can talk to about pressure or abuse is: d. know their status and get early treatment Show answer
1 → c (Dropping out of school) · 2 → b (Condom) · 3 → d (know their status and get early treatment) · 4 → a (a parent, teacher, counsellor or health worker)
- Pregnancy can interrupt education.
- Pills, injections and implants prevent pregnancy only.
- Early treatment protects health and reduces transmission.
- Trusted adults can give correct information and protection.
Drag and drop
Choose the correct word or phrase from the box for each gap. One word in the box is not needed.
peer pressure · refusal skill · 116 · 999- Saying "No" clearly and walking away from a risky situation is a .
- The free child helpline in Rwanda is .
- Pressure from friends to behave like them is called .
Show answer
1: refusal skill · 2: 116 · 3: peer pressure
- Refusal skills protect your health and dignity.
- Children can call 116 for help.
- It can be positive or negative.
Matching
Match each item in column A with the correct answer in column B. Write the letter next to each number.
Column A Column B 1. Alcohol and drugs increase sexual risk mainly because they: a. refuse, stay with trusted friends and call an adult 2. STIs should be treated by: b. trained health workers at a health facility 3. Gender inequality makes safe decisions difficult because: c. one partner may not feel able to refuse 4. A learner is offered alcohol at a party by older youths and then asked to go somewhere alone. The safest response is to: d. weaken judgement Show answer
1 → d (weaken judgement) · 2 → b (trained health workers at a health facility) · 3 → c (one partner may not feel able to refuse) · 4 → a (refuse, stay with trusted friends and call an adult)
- People make choices they later regret.
- Untreated STIs can cause infertility and other harm.
- Power imbalance limits choice.
- Alcohol plus isolation is a common trap.
Drag and drop
Choose the correct word or phrase from the box for each gap. One word in the box is not needed.
resist pressure and decide responsibly · child sexual abuse and a crime · a myth · avoid all friends and family members- Setting personal goals such as finishing school helps a young person to .
- The belief "you cannot get pregnant the first time" is an example of .
- Giving a child gifts or money in exchange for sexual favours is .
Show answer
1: resist pressure and decide responsibly · 2: a myth · 3: child sexual abuse and a crime
- Goals give reasons to say no.
- Pregnancy is possible from the first time.
- It must be reported.